book review – Jenni Laplow

I am a highly sensitive person (HSP) and I discovered this about myself, as an adult, even though this is who I have been my whole life: someone with high sensitivity.

Could it be as simple as: “because the sky is blue it makes me cry?” Yes, I agree that it can be relatable to the psychedelic tune the Beatles sang long ago, Because…it’s as simple as is sounds.

An HSP has their five senses elevated to a level that includes heightened emotions. They usually have an adverse childhood experience (ACE) that is a constant struggle, even in adulthood. Crying happens regularly, so does depression, and addiction is a very common coping mechanism.

Just to name a few personality traits, but that is the reality for me to admit that I am an HSP.

No, I am not too sensitive.
No, I am not shy.
This is a normal trait to have!
My sensitivity is an asset,
and I need to continue treating it this way.

To name something that helps me cope with high sensitivity is being creative. I have always been comfortable writing stories and opening my mind to an imaginary land that is built inside my own head. This is the place where I have created the best imaginary friends, as a child, and as an adult I use their names in my fiction stories.

Another thing that helps take the edge off my sensitivity is physical activity. I self-admit to being a muscle head in college and I honestly took too many gym classes they all didn’t count towards my Health & Fitness Bachelor’s degree (smh). Playing sports and increasing my heart rate has always been something I’m craving as an HSP.

Reading The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People by Shahida Arabi, MD is what truly opened my mind for accepting myself as I am. I would recommend it to anyone who has ever struggled to understand, handle, and survive toxic people.

Being alive is something to be thankful for. I have the emotional strength of someone much older than 36 only because I embraced my high sensitivity at a young age. I feel and believe the best years are still yet to come.

The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People by Shahida Arabi, MD

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A book review.

When I was younger, my mom would tell me, “To be a writer, you need to read.” So, I was inspired as SAHM who blogs to read something that I could blog about for other moms. I chose:

How to Have Peace When You’re Falling to Pieces by Rebecca Rode

My first goal: Finish book

It took me longer than a week (or two) to read leisurely…but, I finished it! And, it was a good read. As a mom, I found myself thinking, “I have felt that way…I have thought that way…I have…I have!” I give it 3 stars (out of 5).

My second goal: Blog about it

The book is split up into puzzle pieces, and each puzzle piece has their own chapter (or chapters) of stories and support for that puzzle piece. When all the puzzle pieces are put together, it’s symbolism for a “put together” mother at peace. The puzzle pieces include:

1) Mother of purpose “…recognizes her own worth”

2) Mother of skill “…realizes her unique power over the family environment.”

3) Mother of work “…keeps a house of order, but she also understands that relationships are more important than her tasks.”

4) Mother of faith “…realizes her divine potential and refuses to allow trials to shake her faith for long.”

5) Mother of wisdom“…resists comparison and is content with her blessings.”

6) Mother of joy “…tries to see the positive during even the hardest of trials.”

7) Mother of peace “…foundation of purpose, skill, a love of work, faith, wisdom and joy.”

Purpose was perfect for the first puzzle piece. As a new mother (and SAHM) the feeling of worthlessness looms overhead often, and the search for purpose is necessary to battle those feelings. Other SAHMs may feel the “crippling pressure we find ourselves under is from our assumptions about the world’s expectations…” and “the pressure on moms is greater than ever, and yet, we also receive less credit for our work.” These chapters have relatable scenarios, and the ability to recognize them in yourself is important. The reality is, “Moms have only one supervisor: ourselves.”

Skill included a chapter that really stuck out to me: Control Baskets. The author was recommended by a counselor to handle “difficulties by sorting them mentally into two baskets…” the “can control” and “can’t control” basket. “Focus on what you can control, and forget about what you can’t.” I think this is a very important skill to add to a mother’s toolbox, and it’s something that I need to focus on regularly.

I’ll skip ahead to…

Faith. It really hit me when I read, “faith or fear…they cannot exist together…the moment fear creeps in, faith flees.” What a great reminder that you need a little faith to drive your motherhood. “There is an old saying that if everyone set their troubles on a table, they would probably take back their own. This widening of focus to include everything we have been given, not just what we lack, has the power to change our entire outlook on life.” Wow…that is definitely one of the powerful things about this book that I enjoy: the quotes I’m able to take away.

Side note: There were a lot of scripture stories and passages for the faith puzzle piece…and I expected it, but scriptures spilled into every other chapter and puzzle piece throughout this book. The author seems very knowledgeable on scripture and passionate about her religion, but because I usually don’t read scripture-driven literature, it seemed like a lot at some points.

Joy is a puzzle piece I was looking forward to reading…it had chapters for me! I always try to have a positive outlook on things, and that is a very powerful attribute as a mother. “A mother of joy looks to her husband as an equal partner and helpmate in their journey together. She understand that her mind is powerful and can influence her mood…A joyful mother treasures the fleeting moments with her children and makes memories with them that will last for generations.” Being a joyful mother will shine on your children and they will learn through you.

Peace is a realistic opportunity for every mother. The combination of recognizing, realizing, and understanding all the pieces that make your own motherhood is essential for finding peace. By reading this book, it helped me pinpoint what is important in my own puzzle and what I strive to work on. The end message was, “Keep moving forward…Your ‘small and simple’ offerings are noticed, and they do make a difference.”